Social Conventions be Damned! I'm losing my mind!

Last week I went over to my photographer friend's house and she let me take pictures of her and her kids in her studio (I'm so jealous), and she took pics of me with Sheridan. Well, my mental state has steadily declined with one child and while my friend who has three kids has managed to keep her mind, I think I may have to reconsider if having more children might considerably alter my metal capacities forever. While there I managed to leave my camera battery, my friend's youngest daughter dropped her car keys in MY bag (which I did not discover until a few days later), and I locked my keys in my car. Imagine all of this happening with three children and a baby whirling around laughing, playing, crying- you name it, they all did it!
Then we went to a lovely luncheon of fil-a of chicken, and Sheridan became pretty fussy and I know she's hungry. Well, there was no one in the vicinity but small children and mothers so I decided to swallow my conservative 'no breast-feeding in public' rule because I know we have an hour ride home and the car will be too hot to just sit and feed her in. So I feed her, and no big deal, nothing happens, no one notices or even bats an eyelash. Then I get home and because it's rained and I-10 is the butt-crack of Houston and "poof" it's time to feed her again. It's then that I notice that my left breast pad has gone missing and that I most likely left it sitting on the bench seat in the Katy, Texas Chick-fil-a. The first image that pops into my head is the teenager behind the counter going to clean up and wondering, what is that circular napkin? no, is it a pad? what could that be for?

Why my fat rolls can't be as cute as my baby's.

There comes a time in everyone's life when you have to take an honest look at yourself. For me that moment came a few weeks after my daughter was born. I realized there are a lot of things I need to work on, not just for me, but for her. We all know kids learn so much from their parents' behavior. I had an overwhelming motivation to get some of the crap straightened out in my life. I want everything to be better in my life because I know it will make things better for her life. That means a better spiritual life, a better marriage, diet, you get the picture.
I gained a LOT of weight being pregnant, twice what is recommended in fact! I've lost more than half of it already but I still have quite a bit left to go. Family and friends have been very sweet to say things like, "don't be so hard on yourself," and "don't worry, it will just come off naturally." These well-meaning comments are kind words from the people that love me, but I know the truth, my fat rolls are not as cute as my baby's. On top of that, my fat rolls won't help me one bit when it's time for me to run around and play with my kids. No, it's time for me to take a good look at the pattern of emotional eating in my life and give it the ax, not just for me but for my kid.

So you think you can blog?

Maybe having a baby would be a good enough excuse for not bloggin consistently, however, the internet is full of mommy bloggers who have made it work. The truth is, I've never been fond of writing on the computer, for some reason it seems unorganic. I'm one of those English teacher-types who loves pencil shavings and the way my handwriting changes when I'm experiencing rage or peacefulness. I can actually show you stabbing pen marks in my journal from a couple of years ago when I was having a particularly stressful and hate-filled day!
Here I will try again to write out my thoughts and document my time at home with my daughter and cat. I have begun to hate my cat, and I'll have to write about that later because I could fill a whole blog with the ways she's trying to drive me batty! I have a husband too... There are way too many things to write about there as well.
In the grand scheme of things I'm hoping this blog will help me to just get out whatever it is that's been brewing deep inside. I don't think I usually know what the heck is going on in my brain until I write something out. So therein lies the Odyssey within myself...